The Psychology of Losing Weight

[MattimusMaximus]

Hey guys,

I tried asking this question a long time ago back in Egypt but the Pharaoh told me to keep my belly and get stronger. Anyways, I was wondering how some of you have dealt with losing weight while training... not so much from a programming standpoint but more from a psychological standpoint?

My issue is that I do finally want to lose the excessive weight I gained during SSLP (125 ish lbs to 240 ish lbs) but mentally I find it's extremely difficult to think of myself lifting as a smaller guy now. I'm thinking of a target weight around 200 lbs and some of you may not think that's "small" but it's much smaller than my current bodyweight.

This is a tricky question and I hope I've gotten my point across. I know how to lose the weight, I want to lose the weight, but I'm almost fearful? of losing the weight and what that will do to my gainzZz and my appearance... if that makes any sense at all. I never want to look "small" again but I'm sick of the gut. Any tips to deal with the mental agony of losing strength and/or size would be greatly appreciated! I hate when people don't think you lift when you're fully clothed...

Also, I've started training with RPE recently so I'm assuming this should help with the fatigue I'm sure will come with eating less food? Apologies if this is in the wrong section of the forum... I wasn't sure where to post this question.

[mgil]

How good are you at counting macros and sticking to a diet? There’s no reason you couldn’t slowly cut your weight and bring your strength and lean mass up at the same time. It’s hard but not impossible.

[BenM]

I agree with the shitpostmaster, you can most definitely maintain or even gain strength while losing weight, it’s mostly a matter of smart dieting, not losing the weight too fast, and smart programming too.

As far as the psychology, the difficult thing is just trusting the process. That’s where you just need to come up with a solid plan, execute it, and don’t let the day to day fluctuations in weight and/or strength cause you to panic into changing anything. Reassess things on a longer term (think every 2-3 weeks) basis and adjust as needed then. It’s definitely easier said than done and it’s something I’ve struggled with myself (which is why I outsourced my macro setting to Avatar) but I think it gets easier with time and practice.

If you’re interested, the 3DMJ vault has a (free) course on gaining strength while cutting - http://www.3dmjvault.com - I got a little bit out of it in terms of periodising nutrition and things, but probably most of all the reassurance that if Loomis can do it at his age (both physical and training) then anyone can.

[broseph]

I THINK I know what you’re talking about, OP.

When you gain that much weight on purpose it really becomes part of your identity. Work, friends, family all know you as the guy that eats way more than everyone else and lifts weights super cereal. Even if some (or a lot) of your mass gainz are fat, being “big” is part of your current identity.

I THINK just realizing this concept helps with overcoming it, then it’s at the front of your psyche and you can deal with it however you see fit.

[KyleSchuant]

Most of the perception of "big" comes from shoulders, arms, traps, and thighs. So if you hold onto most of your lean mass and drop a lot of fat, you'll still look "big" to most people, and probably feel it.

[MattimusMaximus]

lol but in all seriousness I appreciate the time you guys have taken to reply to my post.

@mgil I'm actually fairly accurate with macro counting and using Myfitnesspal app. I've used it to lose weight, gain weight, and maintain weight but I've been this size for a couple years now and I'm finding it difficult to make the mental switch to lose size again.

@BenM I like the guys at 3DMJ so I'll definitely check that link out thanks! Eric Helms is awesome!

@broseph You hit the nail right in the feelz! What you've said is exactly what I was meaning, but you put it much more eloquently. I used to be known as the guy who needed to eat a sandwich because I was so skinny. Then I became the shredded guy that everyone asked for fitness tips from. Then I gained an insane amount of weight (yes some muscle but lots of fat) and now I'm known at work/family/friends as the big guy with teh yuge GunzZz! lol! You're right, it's become part of my own identity and it's time I let that go I think. Thanks for the perspective!

@KyleSchuant I did drop down to 210 lbs last year for officer training and I felt smaller but comments from others were positive so I think you're right. It's just tough to switch gears mentally when you go from one extreme end of the bodyweight to another and then have to change things up again.

[Murelli]

Psychologically it gets hard after you've already digged your calories down a lot, after a few months - training sucks, you're cranky all the time, sore all the time, and feeling bad overall. That's when a reverse does you good.

The slower you cut the less you suffer.

[cwd]

My experience: did a 17-week 1lb/week cut while retaining strength, and a 6-month "recomp" while gaining strength at a stable bodyweight.
The recomp was *much* more fun. But I lost waist inches faster on the cut.

A few mental things I figured out:

1) I have to size my meals so that my "hungry hours" occur before 6:00 pm. I have much less willpower in the evenings, and tend to not sleep well when hungry.

2) When hungry, I imagine the hunger as "good discomfort" like DOMS. It's making me better/healthier.

3) Chins & dips go up as you get lighter, even when all your other lifts are stuck. Helps morale to include some bodyweight exercises in your program when cutting.

[broseph]

1) I have to size my meals so that my "hungry hours" occur before 6:00 pm. I have much less willpower in the evenings, and tend to not sleep well when hungry.

So much this. Hungry all day is EZPZ. Hungry at night is ruffem stuffem robots. I would eat (3) ~600 Cal meals during the day, and save ~1200 Cal for dinner when cutting.

[tdood]

My experience: did a 17-week 1lb/week cut while retaining strength, and a 6-month "recomp" while gaining strength at a stable bodyweight.
The recomp was *much* more fun. But I lost waist inches faster on the cut.

A few mental things I figured out:

1) I have to size my meals so that my "hungry hours" occur before 6:00 pm. I have much less willpower in the evenings, and tend to not sleep well when hungry.

2) When hungry, I imagine the hunger as "good discomfort" like DOMS. It's making me better/healthier.

3) Chins & dips go up as you get lighter, even when all your other lifts are stuck. Helps morale to include some bodyweight exercises in your program when cutting.

This is all great stuff. I like the idea about likening hunger to doms, associate it with success.

I too leave extra cals for the afternoon/evening. Once I get home from work I just want to keep eating until I go to bed.

[JC]

I found looking at mysen truthfully all over, not just the desirable bits, woke me up a bit to how fat I was getting - photos from my brother's wedding helped in that regard, I just looked like a total no lifting fatty in a suit (I mean I am, but without seeing my glorious arms or traps, all you got is an outline and a double chins)

Also

Being a real basketcase and not eating for two days except for a few handfuls of fruit/veg, and eating whatever on the third day, I lost a lot of weight fairly quickly which was motivating in that I could get it over quicker, but then I stopped being weird and ate normal and put some weight back on again, but this isn't really relevant here, is it?

Fatty suit fatface is the key point, I think?

[MattimusMaximus]

My experience: did a 17-week 1lb/week cut while retaining strength, and a 6-month "recomp" while gaining strength at a stable bodyweight.
The recomp was *much* more fun. But I lost waist inches faster on the cut.

A few mental things I figured out:

1) I have to size my meals so that my "hungry hours" occur before 6:00 pm. I have much less willpower in the evenings, and tend to not sleep well when hungry.

2) When hungry, I imagine the hunger as "good discomfort" like DOMS. It's making me better/healthier.

3) Chins & dips go up as you get lighter, even when all your other lifts are stuck. Helps morale to include some bodyweight exercises in your program when cutting.

This is all great stuff. I like the idea about likening hunger to doms, associate it with success.

I too leave extra cals for the afternoon/evening. Once I get home from work I just want to keep eating until I go to bed.

I'm definitely an evening eater too! I never skip breakfast but I easily could, then throughout the day at work I force myself to eat around 4-5 hours after my last meal. Once I get home it's like a pig at the trough and I'm guessing it's boredom related. It's never "healthy" food late at night either. I like my midnight icecream while watching the Netflix or getting in some much needed gaming time that I miss because of having children

These are awesome points thanks! It's just a shift in perception that I have to make I suppose. I do like that my chins will improve but squats are gonna suck! I'm starting this slowly and for now I'm going to eat maintenance for a couple weeks just to get used to the lower cals. Maintenance is around 3300 cals right now but I've been a glutton with over 4000 cals lately so the adjustment is needed before I start restricting below maintenance.

[MattimusMaximus]

I found looking at mysen truthfully all over, not just the desirable bits, woke me up a bit to how fat I was getting - photos from my brother's wedding helped in that regard, I just looked like a total no lifting fatty in a suit (I mean I am, but without seeing my glorious arms or traps, all you got is an outline and a double chins)

Also

Being a real basketcase and not eating for two days except for a few handfuls of fruit/veg, and eating whatever on the third day, I lost a lot of weight fairly quickly which was motivating in that I could get it over quicker, but then I stopped being weird and ate normal and put some weight back on again, but this isn't really relevant here, is it?

Fatty suit fatface is the key point, I think?

Oh I know these feelz. That's why I grew a beard... to hide my double chin fat shame lol. I shaved it off last year for an interview and wore a suit... I felt like a piggy. It didn't help I had to buy a couple sizes bigger to fit my 19" arms. So technically I was wearing an even fatter guy's suit which hid the only muscle I have underneath all this adipose and then the shaved double chin was just too much. I didn't recognize myself in the mirror sheesh!

[Mahendra]

Hey Matt,

I'll do my best not to ramble on in this post, as I know exactly how you feel.

IMO, I think it's going to be hard psychologically no matter which route you choose. If you decide to do a "fast'ish" cut, your lifts will likely stagnate and you may even lose strength. If you decide to cut slower - it may feel like it's taking forever to lose weight, and dieting for that long is not a fun thing to do either.

Good ol' Lou over in Egypt once said to me to not worry about the temporary strength loss that will occur, because your strength will come back. I started to notice my strength dissipating after about ~8 weeks on my diet.

I know that you mentioned you know how to lose weight, but one thing I've learned from last years cut vs. this year, is that higher volume and lower intensity might be better than lower volume / higher intensity.

And of course, we're all here for you. It isn't easy, but it's worth it.

[LexAnderson]

How good are you at counting macros and sticking to a diet? There’s no reason you couldn’t slowly cut your weight and bring your strength and lean mass up at the same time. It’s hard but not impossible.

Agreed. If you want to shed a few pounds, then do it, don't worry about what someone else has to say about your weight.

[GainsdalfTheWhey]

Counting calories drives me nuts, so the biggest thing I have success with is figuring out the calories for 2-3 meals, then making the same things over and over again so I already know the calories for an entire meal instead of having to sum things up. I bring .75 lb of chicken breast, a yam, 3 cups of green beans, 2 apples, and a banana to work EVERY day. I know that's 1300 kcal with 125g protein, 300g carbs m 85g fat. My wife's meals average 700-1000 kcal, 40g protein. I don't even count it anymore, just estimate the protein and use more whey to get me too 200g before bed.

As far as the mental aspect, the cravings and hunger at night are the worst. I've been bad withe eating candy before dinner recently. As others have said, learning to embrace the hunger as a positive indicator is always huge for me. My mantra when I was the most successful after my first weight runaway was "Hunger is fat leaving the body". I'm at 270 lb and north of 30% bodyfat right now, and I'm trying to get back to it.

The other big thing to learn is to accept that your numbers, and especially ability to do volume, will go down when cutting. Remember, that's not your true strength, just you in a degraded state. The losses in the gym are almost always my biggest contributor to falling off the wagon and faceplanting a pie.

[Allentown]

I'm here too. Ran into a neighbor while walking the kid and dog a few days ago, and she mentioned "You trimmed down!" I assumed she meant my facial hair, which I trimmed after I got an actual paid-for haircut before our date weekend. She told me she meant I noticeably lost weight. I have, but it wasn't on purpose. I'm just not training heavy, and thus not eating until I feel sick every meal. I worked hard to get unnecessarily fat, sometimes it's hard to hear people notice I'm not quite as fat any more. I've kept my lifts somewhat consistent, I think, I have no idea where they really are because my template isn't conducive to testing...

[SpinyNorman]

I'm definitely an evening eater too! I never skip breakfast but I easily could, then throughout the day at work I force myself to eat around 4-5 hours after my last meal. Once I get home it's like a pig at the trough and I'm guessing it's boredom related. It's never "healthy" food late at night either. I like my midnight icecream while watching the Netflix or getting in some much needed gaming time that I miss because of having children

This probably seems kind of stupid, but sometimes when I'm a bit hungry at night and know the only thing I'm likely to grab to eat is junk I'll brush my teeth. That makes it so nothing is going to taste good for a while and after that fades I'd have to brush my teeth again if I ate anything. I'm too damn lazy at night to brush my teeth twice and not quite enough of a slob to go to bed without brushing my teeth, so I'll usually just skip the extra snack that way.

[JC]

That lazy toothbrushing thing is a damn good idea, if only I could be arsed to go all the way to the bathroom, when the kitchen is within TV listening distance!

[timelinex]

I think what makes things easier is if you are honest on what your priorities are and then try to build your routine in a way that minimizes the shit sandwich that you have to eat while cutting or maintaining.

My wife and I both work and are usually not too keen on cooking by the time we come home. Since we can easily afford to eat out every day, thats what happens. This means calorie dense food with stats that aren't necessarily the best.

So I heavily value the convenience of not having to cook, the satiety a nice big meal gives me, and not having to argue with my wife about my diet forcing us to eat chicken and broccoli every day (a bit of an exaggeration).

What I found to work for me is that I eat a small breakfast, small lunch and then I have most my calories left over for dinner. Worked for me to get from 200 to 175 (before I started SS). I had to eat about 1900 calories to lose weight since I wasn't working out at the time. Is it optimal to have 600 calories all day and then 1300 all at once at dinner? Probably not. But it works and once you get used to the small first meals, it's kind of like having your cake and eating it too. It worked so well that I have now permanently been eating like this for the last year and just adjusting how much I eat during breakfast/lunch to change whether I am bulking or maintenance.