Fossil's Training Log

[Fossil]

Jump Rope:
5 minutes

Front Squat:
95 x 5
115 x 5
135 x 5
165 x 5
195 x 4
Right hip started off feeling a bit odd but after set three, felt pretty normal. Didn't wanna push things though, especially since I'm trying to move back to using a full-grip rack position so I don't wanna rush positions.

Farmers Walk:
80 L/R x 55m (5 trips)

Felt stronger and had more laps in me, but slow and steady...

[Fossil]

Jump Rope:
5 minutes

One-Arm Overhead Press:
25 x 5 L/R
35 x 5 L/R
40 x 5 L/R
50 x 5 L/R
55 x 5 L/R

Farmers Walk:
80 L/R x 55m (5 trips)

[Fossil]

Jump Rope:
5 minutes

Front Squat:
95 x 5
115 x 5
135 x 5
165 x 5
195 x 5

At this point, I've gained enough external rotation that I can approach the bar and just reach my hands up and grab it. Feels so much stronger being able to push back against the barbell during a rep.

Farmers Walk:
80 L/R x 66m (6 trips)

[Fossil]

Strange past couple of days...
Went into the office Wednesday and felt pretty fine, aside from some mild brain fogginess. Then, around noon or so I start getting light headed and had to focus on my breathing. This was coupled with a twitchy, panicky state that lasted several hours - did not want to sit down or stay still. I had to be driven home and took the rest of the day off. At some point, and very briefly, my fingers went completely numb on both hands at the same time. I was (very) afraid to be left alone so my girlfriend came over and stayed with me. The feeling eventually subsided, I was confident enough to try and eat so we did, but about an hour later a second wave of whatever this was came on even stronger and lasted maybe an hour or so. Both incidences made me feel like I had to consciously think about breathing but neither had any elevation in heart rate. Probably the most frightening day of my entire life though.
I scheduled a visit to an urgent care clinic the next day and felt mostly normal and around mid day felt completely, 100% normal.
My speculations ran the gamut from low blood sugar to B12 deficiency to.. you-know-what, of course... (history of those issues on both sides of my family...)
Went to the urgent care appointment, bp was 120/84. The doctor thought it could be what I had suspected - low blood sugar or a vitamin deficiency and saw no reason to sound any alarms after asking a bunch of questions and running through what equated to a checkup with more specific tests. Many people have suggested anxiety and I sure as shit was anxious about it all white it was happening lol but I don't think that is the actual cause; I've had several panic attacks in the past and they were always caused by something identifiable, and these past few months have been really great for me and low stress, so I really don't think I have any underlying anxiety issues.
I got the blood panel back today and they all point to someone who is in peak health - all very good numbers across every metric, which raises more questions than anything for me... all for one metric: MCH. Mine was 0.8 higher than what is considered good. Prior to the appointment and blood work, since both myself and my gf suspected it could be a vitamin b issue, we picked up a supplement and I took one probably 4 hours or so before getting my blood drawn. I'm not a doctor, but I suspect if I had not taken that supplement, the MCH value would point to a greater deficiency of B12 / folic acid.
And if you're wondering why I didn't just go to the hospital like a normal person, well, I put off getting health insurance and for no reason other than laziness. Lesson fucking learned. Got it all sorted out today and it will go into effect in a few weeks.

I'm operating at 95% today so I'm decided to lift and see how things go. Not pushing things at all.

Jump Rope:
2 minutes

One-Arm Overhead Press:
25 x 5 L/R
35 x 5 L/R
40 x 5 L/R
50 x 5 L/R
56 x 3 L/R

Briefly became mildly light headed after the last set, also slight onset of that panicky feeling. I had suspected that would happen but wanted to test it.

Farmers Walk:
80 L/R x 33m (3 trips)

[DCR]

I understand that you discarded this possibility, and why, but reading that I immediately said, “Panic attack.” If you’ve had them before, you don’t necessarily need an acute stress event to have one again. Ask me how I know. Sucks.

I certainly could be wrong.

[Fossil]

I understand that you discarded this possibility, and why, but reading that I immediately said, “Panic attack.” If you’ve had them before, you don’t necessarily need an acute stress event to have one again. Ask me how I know. Sucks.

I certainly could be wrong.

Ultimately, everyone who I've talked about the incident(s) with agree - and so do I - that they are panic attacks. However, it was mostly likely induced by a deficiency. I've had panic attacks before, and some quite severe, but always fairly short-lived and always induced because of drugs (THC lol) so to have something like that just happen out of the blue was unbelievably destabilizing. The thing I have noticed and why I firmly believe they are at least partially the result of a deficiency is because ever since the first day, they've occurred at roughly the same time; something I didn't notice until yesterday which suggests they could be coinciding with an enzymatic environment that occurs during the most alert periods of the day. This is all conjecture of course but I'm glad to report the severity of each "wave" has lessened to the point that today it was little more than a semi-lightheartedness and watching things as though I'm watching a movie. Not great that I was driving but I never reached a point of panic at all. Hopefully this thing is on the way out and whatever chemical imbalance I induced is normalizing.

[DCR]

I understand that you discarded this possibility, and why, but reading that I immediately said, “Panic attack.” If you’ve had them before, you don’t necessarily need an acute stress event to have one again. Ask me how I know. Sucks.

I certainly could be wrong.

Ultimately, everyone who I've talked about the incident(s) with agree - and so do I - that they are panic attacks. However, it was mostly likely induced by a deficiency. I've had panic attacks before, and some quite severe, but always fairly short-lived and always induced because of drugs (THC lol) so to have something like that just happen out of the blue was unbelievably destabilizing. The thing I have noticed and why I firmly believe they are at least partially the result of a deficiency is because ever since the first day, they've occurred at roughly the same time; something I didn't notice until yesterday which suggests they could be coinciding with an enzymatic environment that occurs during the most alert periods of the day. This is all conjecture of course but I'm glad to report the severity of each "wave" has lessened to the point that today it was little more than a semi-lightheartedness and watching things as though I'm watching a movie. Not great that I was driving but I never reached a point of panic at all. Hopefully this thing is on the way out and whatever chemical imbalance I induced is normalizing.

THC and I also are not friends, at all.

I’m glad this shit is resolving itself.

[Fossil]

Been taking quite a few preventative measures with supplements - NAC, gotu kola, B complex, potassium, vitamin D (from the sun and supplement), a multivitamin and a CBD pen lol. All stuff I had in my cabinet but some I didn't take regularly. "Waves of Weirdness" are less and less intense each day and as mentioned above, are little more than a transient "spacey" feeling.

Both heels, especially the left, have been pretty achy the past few weeks so going to let it recover.

Jumping Jacks:
5 minutes

Front Squat:
100 x 5
125 x 5
155 x 5
170 x 5
200 x 3

Not hard at all. Last rep slowed a little but only because I am pretty rigid about maintaining posture so that zone of greatest joint angle naturally will slow as weight increases.

Farmers Walk:
80 L/R x 66m (6 trips)

[Fossil]

Shadowboxing:
5 minutes

One-Arm Overhead Press:
25 x 5 L/R
35 x 5 L/R
40 x 5 L/R
50 x 5 L/R
56 x 4 L/R

Went back to using a thumb-less grip after a long, long time of not using it. Forces more external rotation and since I'm using a full grip on farmers walks, I think it's okay since both grips are being utilized. Will continue for a few weeks and see how it goes.

Farmers Walk:
80 L/R x 71m (6.5 trips)


About 6 weeks ago I decided to drastically up my red meat intake and basically eat 95% whole (single ingredient) foods and drop almost all vegetables. I would never go "carnivore" (typing that even feels ridiculous - no offense to anyone.)
I experimented with lower carb way back but really didn't prioritize red meat since I was a broke college student. It worked well enough. Not perfect but at least it was mostly unprocessed foods.
This time around, with the huge increase in saturated fat and using only rice, potatoes fruit and dairy as carbohydrate sources I can confidently say this is the best I've felt in many years in terms of gut health, energy levels throughout the day and falling asleep at night. I never crave anything, don't have to eat until I'm full to be satiated and cooking is extremely straightforward since it's just 3-5 main ingredients. Also, quite suddenly my jawline came back lol - part of my wonders if my lymph nodes had been slightly inflamed for years... but who knows? I'm just glad I feel good, save for that weirdness last week.

[DCR]

About 6 weeks ago I decided to drastically up my red meat intake and basically eat 95% whole (single ingredient) foods and drop almost all vegetables. I would never go "carnivore" (typing that even feels ridiculous - no offense to anyone.)
I experimented with lower carb way back but really didn't prioritize red meat since I was a broke college student. It worked well enough. Not perfect but at least it was mostly unprocessed foods.
This time around, with the huge increase in saturated fat and using only rice, potatoes fruit and dairy as carbohydrate sources I can confidently say this is the best I've felt in many years in terms of gut health, energy levels throughout the day and falling asleep at night. I never crave anything, don't have to eat until I'm full to be satiated and cooking is extremely straightforward since it's just 3-5 main ingredients. Also, quite suddenly my jawline came back lol - part of my wonders if my lymph nodes had been slightly inflamed for years... but who knows? I'm just glad I feel good, save for that weirdness last week.

This is super interesting. Is there a tl,dr version of why fruit/starches/dairy but no vegetables?

[Fossil]

This is super interesting. Is there a tl,dr version of why fruit/starches/dairy but no vegetables?

Honestly, it was more a switch in thinking about what I was consuming and why and I realized over the years I had gravitated towards less nutrient dense foods - almond milk, low fat dairy, egg whites, mostly chicken and fish and lots and lots of leafy greens and cruciferous vegetables. I was hungry often and would often find I was eating to discomfort because satiety never really came. Digestion was never really great either. After moving out for college years ago I always ate rather simple but I never really thought about what I was eating outside of "it's protein, it's cheap, I need things to fill in the gaps so I'm not hungry but that don't have a ton of calories" - i.e. vegetables.
So, the shortest answer I can give is I basically thought "well, I'll just do the opposite of what I was doing" and turns out I don't miss leafy greens or vegetables at all. I'm still eating really simple - more so than ever before - it's just at the other end of the spectrum in terms of mainly saturated fat content and carbohydrate sources.

I could add those things back in and identify a problematic food / group of foods, but honestly I don't really see the point since this style of eating is so much more satisfying and manageable. Cost-wise it's also about the same, if not cheaper in some ways.

[Fossil]

This got pushed a little later in the week than I wanted, but better late than never.

Jump Rope:
5 minutes

Ankles feel 90% but going to continue to take it easy on this for the next two or three weeks.

Front Squat:
100 x 5
125 x 5
155 x 5
170 x 5
200 x 4

Farmers Walk:
80 L/R x 71m (6.5 trips)

[Fossil]

One-Arm Overhead Press:
25 x 5 L/R
35 x 5 L/R
40 x 5 L/R
50 x 5 L/R
56 x 5 L/R

Last set was difficult, but got it done.

Farmers Walk:
80 L/R x 66m (6 trips)

I kinda messed up my setup and the handles were a lot wobblier than they should've been. Gotta remember to lift the head and chest to stand up and not just roll the weight towards me and stand.

[Fossil]

Jump Rope:
5 minutes

Front Squat:
100 x 5
135 x 5
155 x 5
170 x 5
200 x 5

Moved the second set up because loading 125 is more of a hassle than it's worth.
Also, it may or may not help anyone reading this, but a very easy way to set up a stable front rack is to almost tuck your chin and lift your elbows then lift your chest last. The elbow position is locked in and you're not trying to lift your chest or elbows with a barbell pulling you forward.

Farmers Walk:
80 L/R x 77m (7 trips)

These felt way better today. Grabbing more towards the back of the handle is far less taxing on the grip.

[Fossil]

Pushed this to today - had a pretty significant wave of derealization around mid-day yesterday that lasted a few hours. Not nearly as severe as a few weeks ago but still troubling. I think all my experimentation with remedies is actually making these episodes occur, so today I stopped them all. I'm a little "hazy" today but not bad. I woke up feeling normal, then after an hour or so it started to come on but nothing severe. Now I just feel mildly stoned or something, despite taking no medication or anything that would alter my mental state. I lifted much earlier today - in the afternoon instead of my usual evening session - to see if that would help and I think it has.
Now that I more or less know what's happening, I can manage it and push through without it escalating. Although, I gotta say it's weird to spend several hours in that state, then return to normal but feeling as though you went somewhere but never actually left your own body lol.
Going to have to lay off any kind of things that could set it off - any kind of CBD/THC, alcohol, supplements that can affect GABA, etc - at least for a month or two. I don't take any prescription medication and very few non-vitamin supplements, so that part is easy but I'll have to actively avoid the other things.

Jump Rope:
5 minutes

One-Arm Overhead Press:
25 x 5 L/R
35 x 5 L/R
40 x 5 L/R
50 x 5 L/R
57 x 3 L/R

Could've almost certainly hit five on the last set but again, I'm going slow and steady with this. I hold the weight at lockout on both sides to really feel it and ingrain the position. I'll also slightly pause between each reps on the difficult sets.
My initial plan was to eventually move this whole thing to 3x8 then go back to 5x5 and alternate as needed to prevent stalling but I've been drawing out this double progression thing so slowly there hasn't been a need to switch the rep scheme.


Farmers Walk:
80 L/R x maybe 82m (7.5 trips I guess)

Might have lost count because of the idiotically small space I'm doing these in. Possibly hit 8 laps but may have only been 7.5 because of a miscount so counting it as the latter.
Cool forearm pump though - way up high in the brachioradialis.

[Fossil]

So my whole "not going to ingest anything that could even possibly alter my brain chemistry" idea went right out the window when I got an Instagram ad for a newly opened but technically not-quite-legal** mushroom dispensary opened. I did a ton of those all through my junior and senior years of high school and really enjoyed those experiences and never saw any negative consequences from partaking.
Here we are, well over a decade later and now psilocybin is being heavily researched for it's benefits on the brain.

Saturday woke up feeling out of it mentally, knew now would be a good time to test psilocybin so headed down to Venice Beach and picked up some bigger edibles and a ton of microdose-sized items. Did a full microdose the first night and felt great for about an hour and a half. Afterwards, felt clear-headed with no signs of dissociation, spacey-ness or anything of the sort. I am inclined to believe my instincts (and rudimentary knowledge of brain chemistry and pharmacology) were absolutely right. Will continue a microdose protocol [1 on, 2 off] for a few week/months just to see how it goes.
Still abstaining from everything else, though.
Now that I've tested the waters again in regards to psilocybin use, it's very clear to me why I opted to use it instead of alcohol or marijuana during my high school years: shit is fucking awesome.

**a bill for decriminalization is currently being debated here in CA. It's been ongoing for months now.

Anyway, on to the *actual* purpose for this log:

Jump Rope:
5 minutes

Going to start specifying the type of rope I'm using. Heel pain has me using a normal rope today, whereas previously it's always been a weighted rope (1lb.)

Front Squat:
100 x 5
135 x 5
155 x 5
175 x 5
205 x 3

Farmers Walk:
80 L/R x 88m (8 trips)

Had to sit the handles down at the last maybe three feet to keep from dropping them and/or smashing into the wall. Still counting it as eight trips. Sat my phone down at the starting point and recorded video to make absolutely sure there wasn't any miscounting lol.
One thing I need to work on is standing rigid for a second before taking off - that little bit of rigidity that comes with everything being stacked helps with the wobbling and turning.

[DCR]

Anyway, on to the *actual* purpose for this log:

Here for all the purposes. I had horrific experiences on full shrooms but microdosing has been fantastic. I take them in pill form. The best way that I can describe the feeling on them is “grateful.” There is an enhancement of an otherwise good experience - say a night out with friends, from, “This is fun,” to, “I’m fortunate and glad that I’m here having this fun.”

[Fossil]

Here for all the purposes. I had horrific experiences on full shrooms but microdosing has been fantastic. I take them in pill form. The best way that I can describe the feeling on them is “grateful.” There is an enhancement of an otherwise good experience - say a night out with friends, from, “This is fun,” to, “I’m fortunate and glad that I’m here having this fun.”

I'm glad I'm not the only one around here who praises the value of psilocybin!
After having a reasonably noticeable reaction from 0.2 grams (and even less) I have a hard time understanding how 16-year-old me was able to casually do 2+ grams week in and week out lol. I've never really had a bad experience but I think this time around, when I do take a full dose it will be on the low end of what constitutes a "full dose."

[Fossil]

Changed dumbbell handles and went back to using a non-rotating / solid handle and what a difference. I know why I started using the revolving handle - it's got a longer sleeve. I realize the tradeoff isn't worth it now that I've used the the solid handle again. The lockout feels so much stronger.

Jump Rope:
5 minutes

Hoping the heels get a break with the shorter ROM jumps.

One-Arm Overhead Press:
25 x 5 L/R
35 x 5 L/R
40 x 5 L/R
50 x 5 L/R
57 x 4 L/R

I decided to move Farmers Walks to their own day so I can hopefully go heavier. The plan is to accumulate the 100m over as many trips as it takes, moving up in weight when it only takes a single trip.
I think after having done them twice a week for awhile now, I have a good sense of how the movement should feel and how it progresses; Hopefully this change will be for the better.

Also, just been itching to add one more lifting day a week but didn't want to alter the frequency of main movements, so I just moved the Farmers Walks since I'd say it's the least [directly] fatiguing movement I do.

[DCR]

Here for all the purposes. I had horrific experiences on full shrooms but microdosing has been fantastic. I take them in pill form. The best way that I can describe the feeling on them is “grateful.” There is an enhancement of an otherwise good experience - say a night out with friends, from, “This is fun,” to, “I’m fortunate and glad that I’m here having this fun.”

I'm glad I'm not the only one around here who praises the value of psilocybin!
After having a reasonably noticeable reaction from 0.2 grams (and even less) I have a hard time understanding how 16-year-old me was able to casually do 2+ grams week in and week out lol. I've never really had a bad experience but I think this time around, when I do take a full dose it will be on the low end of what constitutes a "full dose."

@Hanley is the psilocybin prophet. Perhaps he'll weigh in on his recent experiences.