EggMcMuffin wrote: ↑Sun Dec 25, 2022 12:16 am
My childhood cat finally died and as usual I'm the one who had to find her lifeless corpse at 2AM (I will miss you forever, little grey friend).
I’m very sorry about this. I’m a big pet guy and have gone through it multiple times. It never gets easier.
EggMcMuffin wrote: ↑Sun Dec 25, 2022 12:16 am
Is there any rational response to anything of this but sheer despondency and a desire to retreat back into the arms of Our Lord And Savior Jesus Christ, who I have not believed in since my first communion?
Have had this urge too a few times. Still haven’t made a decision on whether to accept or reject it.
EggMcMuffin wrote: ↑Sun Dec 25, 2022 12:16 am
I guess the best thing to do is live by the words of Mark Bell:
Mark Smelly Bell wrote:
"Guess what my friend, we're all headed there. We'll all die. We'll all be in a lot of pain. It's all comin' our way. It's inevitable. It's part of life. But in the meantime, you might as well be a fucking savage and live your life the way you want to live."
There's nothing to this life but thin air. In the meantime, let's live by those words. Slap some weight on the bad, step back and squat down into 2023 just as terrified and as confused as you were the first time you squatted 315. You know why? Because we're all headed there.
It was my birthday yesterday and I still fucking have COVID, which means no training has gotten done or will be done any time soon whatsoever.
Hoping I'm not developing Long COVID, I've had weird muscle weakness for a bit even after the worst of an admittedly (and very fortunately) mild illness, but that might be just the fact that I have not moved for two weeks.
It is weird as fuck being 27. There are people on my social media who are married and have kids and I still am nowhere near close to achieving any of that shit. Not that I really even *want* to. I don't think playing video games for 12 hours a day after school since I was like 6 years old until I was 19 and was forced to get a job by my older brother really prepares someone for serious relationships of any sort. Then came the really messed up period that was my early 20's which was just working really, really shitty jobs and basically flunking out of a music degree before realizing that no one who actually knows how to *make* music has to go to school to do it, they just fucking do it. Oddly enough, one of my most vivid and fond memories of this time is me and my boss working at KFC taking out the garbage to this shitty, gross dumpster enclosure that homeless people were living out of because the landlord was too cheap to keep lights on past 10:30PM. He was in his mid 30's, a fellow dark skin Mexican standing 5'4 with piercing gray green eyes. He told me that he was thinking of going to apprentice as an electrician with his buddy so he wouldn't have to make starvation wages managing a busted up KFC with a bunch of burnouts and then me, the weird coke bottled glasses dork who had basically no reason to still be working with a bunch of fucked up homeless junkie kids and violent felons. It was Christmas and the air had that tepid California bite that is just enough to put you in a festive mood. I remember the noise the grease covered garbage can made as we rolled it inside the building to get out of the cold. In the whole time he told me his plans and his desire to move out of the shit neighborhood in San Jose he was raising his kids in, I realized I really hadn't told him much of anything about what I wanted to do. Move far away from here? We sat in his office eating grilled chicken and hot wings since no one had come in all night. I asked him for one of the KFC antenna toppers our boss boss had dropped off as a Christmas gift and he gave it to me with gusto. Just for you.
I later put it on my first car and some jackass at my college stole it.
I wonder where he is now.
We're all gonna die some day, just like iamsmu or Jeremiah Green of Modest Mouse. 27 and I feel like 17, like a decade is almost just a comma instead of a sentence. Our lives our said to end with a period, but to those we leave behind, it's more like an ellipses.
On to my fumbling thirties, to figure out the things my 18 year olds peers in my Diff Eq class figured out when they were fifteen. There's no wisdom to be found in Chipotle trench foot or crossfaded after hours boxing matches at KFC, or drunken billiards from supermarket coworkers, or home improvement sex scandals, and less wisdom to be found in posting on Exodus Strength about misspent youth. I have nothing on anyone, and I'll unwillingly fight to keep it that way.
Despite being mild, COVID seems to have fucked me up. I've only been able to sleep in 1-4 hour increments, so I've been extremely tired the whole week. Sleep 4 hours, wakeup, fall asleep again, wake up, fall asleep. It's extremely disorienting and kind of scary how consistent it is. Hopefully this isn't permanent. Hopefully it's just stress. I've been pretty stressed out about being a complete loser lately.
Since I was sedentary for nearly three weeks I've just been running like everyday to shake that off but I'm absurdly sore from the lack of rest. Lifting on Monday/Tuesday is gonna be interesting. I want this year to be better than last even if I'm dead by the end of it.
When I am not busy being an enormous crybaby crying online to an audience of nobody for 18 hours a day instead of fixing my problems, usually you can find me pretending to fix my car(s). If I had more money and didn't live in a suburban hellscaped paved over by real estate tycons where 1000 square feet homes fetch over 100,000,000 for the "weather" I would probably have more than just two.
Broken men cling to machines, broken women cling to pets. Women don't post on the internet so you can probably figure out which of those two I am.
The weather is indeed nice here though. It's been pouring dismally for about a month so the freezing (relative to the rest of the year), dry cold is welcome. My thing in the current year is if I have to unload some horribly negative spiel because my brain doesn't work I also have to bookend it with something positive to lighten the mood. The weathers nice, the days are long in the summer and you know what that fucking means!? Wrenchin' and kombucha. Breaking shit just to fix it. Tearing stuff down just for the hell of it.
You'll tell prospective females that you like long walks at the junkyard. My man likes to look at the diesel Mercedes, pick up a camshaft or two and shove it in some holes.
Smart Patrol! We shove the poles in the holes!
The Mr. Kamikaze in me wants to throw a spark plug through the glass of a car about to be junked just for the hell of it. It's nice to be a bad boy. I've never been a bad boy. Not in the real sense, I've never gotten a fight that I started and I've never been arrested but I also got expelled from highschool by people who had no idea with someone who had decided to non violently resist existence by giving up on it. Pack your bags, take your textbooks and head up on to the cold December bench. The little holes poke into your boney ass, AC Transit ready to chuck you thirty minutes down the road into a queasy future. The present moment was already demanding of dramamine, the future will need Pepto Bismol and the far future will demand...
Whatever the far future demanded got lost somewhere in the engine bay like my 10MM Pittsburg impact socket. You feel like maybe it has feelings too. Fresh out that package, gleefully waiting to be wailed on. Please use me, because no one else will. You envision it lying on some California freeway, dusty and alone. Maybe it'll find community in the vast psychic web of other inanimate objects lost to the day. A ballet slipper in the grass, dildos in the sand and Tesla seats in the CVS parking lot in San Mateo. In loss and loneliness is kinship, even if it's the same kind of kinship as talking to an AI chatbot that pretends to love you.
------------
Anyway I tore it down and put new lifters in it. As it turns out I did have some worn lifters and push rods in the rear bank but it seems my ticking is actually my injectors and now I feel like a moron. It feels pretty good to have done a repair this deep in one day though. I spent a good chunk of change but fuck it, money is fake.
There's a @mouse in my house and I made some use of my Milwaukee® Fuel™ M12 Stubby 3/8 Impact Wrench w/friction ring. It's a nice little unit. I didn't use it for much on this job besides removing the stubborn EGR inlet nut on the lower intake manifold (didn't want to round it) but it feels very nice. It has an assload of power for something so small. 250ft lbs of breakaway torque isn't much especially if you're working on a big dick truck but the axle nut on my car is torqued to 135 ft lbs which feels absurdly tight. The crank bolt on my Miata was tightened to about that much and my 1/2 breaker bar flexed slightly when breaking it loose so I can't imagine you'll run into much this thing can't break loose.
Obviously I'm in a dry, hot climate so wrenching is 9000x easier than in the rust belt but it's nice tool. I can't see myself using it for much in the coming year but I imagine in the long run I'll be very glad I have it.
------
I think I'm gonna just focus on running for a bit. Fuck lifting, this is now a Couch To 10k log. I ran 2.5 miles today as a training run and I did it in like 22~ minutes, which means I average around 8:30/mile. Fat as hell and slow as fuck, but nothing matters since if I wasn't running I would probably be posting on 4chan, crying and eating Funyuns so I'll take it.
EggMcMuffin wrote: ↑Tue Jan 24, 2023 12:48 am
When I am not busy being an enormous crybaby crying online to an audience of nobody for 18 hours a day instead of fixing my problems, usually you can find me pretending to fix my car(s). If I had more money and didn't live in a suburban hellscaped paved over by real estate tycons where 1000 square feet homes fetch over 100,000,000 for the "weather" I would probably have more than just two.
Broken men cling to machines, broken women cling to pets. Women don't post on the internet so you can probably figure out which of those two I am.
The weather is indeed nice here though. It's been pouring dismally for about a month so the freezing (relative to the rest of the year), dry cold is welcome. My thing in the current year is if I have to unload some horribly negative spiel because my brain doesn't work I also have to bookend it with something positive to lighten the mood. The weathers nice, the days are long in the summer and you know what that fucking means!? Wrenchin' and kombucha. Breaking shit just to fix it. Tearing stuff down just for the hell of it.
You'll tell prospective females that you like long walks at the junkyard. My man likes to look at the diesel Mercedes, pick up a camshaft or two and shove it in some holes.
Smart Patrol! We shove the poles in the holes!
The Mr. Kamikaze in me wants to throw a spark plug through the glass of a car about to be junked just for the hell of it. It's nice to be a bad boy. I've never been a bad boy. Not in the real sense, I've never gotten a fight that I started and I've never been arrested but I also got expelled from highschool by people who had no idea with someone who had decided to non violently resist existence by giving up on it. Pack your bags, take your textbooks and head up on to the cold December bench. The little holes poke into your boney ass, AC Transit ready to chuck you thirty minutes down the road into a queasy future. The present moment was already demanding of dramamine, the future will need Pepto Bismol and the far future will demand...
Whatever the far future demanded got lost somewhere in the engine bay like my 10MM Pittsburg impact socket. You feel like maybe it has feelings too. Fresh out that package, gleefully waiting to be wailed on. Please use me, because no one else will. You envision it lying on some California freeway, dusty and alone. Maybe it'll find community in the vast psychic web of other inanimate objects lost to the day. A ballet slipper in the grass, dildos in the sand and Tesla seats in the CVS parking lot in San Mateo. In loss and loneliness is kinship, even if it's the same kind of kinship as talking to an AI chatbot that pretends to love you.
------------
Anyway I tore it down and put new lifters in it. As it turns out I did have some worn lifters and push rods in the rear bank but it seems my ticking is actually my injectors and now I feel like a moron. It feels pretty good to have done a repair this deep in one day though. I spent a good chunk of change but fuck it, money is fake.
There's a @mouse in my house and I made some use of my Milwaukee® Fuel™ M12 Stubby 3/8 Impact Wrench w/friction ring. It's a nice little unit. I didn't use it for much on this job besides removing the stubborn EGR inlet nut on the lower intake manifold (didn't want to round it) but it feels very nice. It has an assload of power for something so small. 250ft lbs of breakaway torque isn't much especially if you're working on a big dick truck but the axle nut on my car is torqued to 135 ft lbs which feels absurdly tight. The crank bolt on my Miata was tightened to about that much and my 1/2 breaker bar flexed slightly when breaking it loose so I can't imagine you'll run into much this thing can't break loose.
Obviously I'm in a dry, hot climate so wrenching is 9000x easier than in the rust belt but it's nice tool. I can't see myself using it for much in the coming year but I imagine in the long run I'll be very glad I have it.
------
I think I'm gonna just focus on running for a bit. Fuck lifting, this is now a Couch To 10k log. I ran 2.5 miles today as a training run and I did it in like 22~ minutes, which means I average around 8:30/mile. Fat as hell and slow as fuck, but nothing matters since if I wasn't running I would probably be posting on 4chan, crying and eating Funyuns so I'll take it.
That sounds like a smart strategy.
Also, Milwaukee make some nice tools. Especially cordless work lights. They shit all over Makita in the light department, to my chagrin because all my power tools are Makita and I'm not about to start running two sets of batteries. I don't know what it's like in the US (I'm assuming you're in the US) but 18V batteries are far from cheap over here in Aus. It's nuts how much power you can get out of a cordless now. I wouldn't mind having a crack with the new 40Vs but I can't honestly say I need the power.
I also very much like the Milwaukee Inkzall pens. Way better than standard markers for the job site and joinery shop, and the Fastback utility knife is also nice. I was actually quite glad I lost my old HRD one because it was an excuse to get a Fastback.
Ooooh you got the fancy new H/O batteries with it too...
Some of the work I've done the last couple weeks has convinced me I need one down the line... I must be stopped...
If it makes you feel any better about your station in life you're clearly a more advanced DIY mechanic than I am... engine work scares the shit out of me...
In six more weeks I should hopefully be able to run a 10k. I wanted to go back to lifting but I think running is easier for now .
Been super depressed lately. It's funny how you can have the same fears and insecurities your whole life and have them totally rule you until they wind up killing you. What it is, is.
Somewhat disappointed with how slow I am. I don't give that much of a shit because I just like running, but...
MarkKO wrote: ↑Thu Jan 26, 2023 2:32 am
Running is harder than lifting.
It really fucking is in that if I think about the people I know who I would classify as 'runners' they all seem to be masochists who revel in robbing themselves of joy and prolonging they're own suffering...
A max yoke or an AMRAP set of stones might suck, but it's over in 90 seconds or less... fuck having to do something for 17 minutes or more...
Also muffs, I know we ain't exactly laying golden eggs filled with cash but if I was in your corner of the world and already had a 12v battery or two I'd be keeping an eyeball out for a good deal on the new extended reach ratchet they put out... it would compliment your impact nicely I'd imagine...
MarkKO wrote: ↑Thu Jan 26, 2023 2:32 am
Running is harder than lifting.
It really fucking is in that if I think about the people I know who I would classify as 'runners' they all seem to be masochists who revel in robbing themselves of joy and prolonging they're own suffering...
A max yoke or an AMRAP set of stones might suck, but it's over in 90 seconds or less... fuck having to do something for 17 minutes or more...
Also muffs, I know we ain't exactly laying golden eggs filled with cash but if I was in your corner of the world and already had a 12v battery or two I'd be keeping an eyeball out for a good deal on the new extended reach ratchet they put out... it would compliment your impact nicely I'd imagine...
What about an extension bar? I've got a couple, but I don't know if they make them for impact wrenches. I only use an impact driver and a drill. I'd imagine they exist though, my hole saw set came with a chunky 300 mm extension bar that looks like it can take a real beating.
MarkKO wrote: ↑Thu Jan 26, 2023 2:32 am
Running is harder than lifting.
It really fucking is in that if I think about the people I know who I would classify as 'runners' they all seem to be masochists who revel in robbing themselves of joy and prolonging they're own suffering...
A max yoke or an AMRAP set of stones might suck, but it's over in 90 seconds or less... fuck having to do something for 17 minutes or more...
Also muffs, I know we ain't exactly laying golden eggs filled with cash but if I was in your corner of the world and already had a 12v battery or two I'd be keeping an eyeball out for a good deal on the new extended reach ratchet they put out... it would compliment your impact nicely I'd imagine...
What about an extension bar? I've got a couple, but I don't know if they make them for impact wrenches. I only use an impact driver and a drill. I'd imagine they exist though, my hole saw set came with a chunky 300 mm extension bar that looks like it can take a real beating.
When I say 'extended reach' it's a longer neck to the head of the ratchet, vs an extension from the anvil to whatever socket your using. The ratchets don't impact and top out at like 35 ft lbs or torque but for muff's conditions I think it would be pretty handy...
MarkKO wrote: ↑Thu Jan 26, 2023 2:32 am
Running is harder than lifting.
It really fucking is in that if I think about the people I know who I would classify as 'runners' they all seem to be masochists who revel in robbing themselves of joy and prolonging they're own suffering...
A max yoke or an AMRAP set of stones might suck, but it's over in 90 seconds or less... fuck having to do something for 17 minutes or more...
Also muffs, I know we ain't exactly laying golden eggs filled with cash but if I was in your corner of the world and already had a 12v battery or two I'd be keeping an eyeball out for a good deal on the new extended reach ratchet they put out... it would compliment your impact nicely I'd imagine...
What about an extension bar? I've got a couple, but I don't know if they make them for impact wrenches. I only use an impact driver and a drill. I'd imagine they exist though, my hole saw set came with a chunky 300 mm extension bar that looks like it can take a real beating.
When I say 'extended reach' it's a longer neck to the head of the ratchet, vs an extension from the anvil to whatever socket your using. The ratchets don't impact and top out at like 35 ft lbs or torque but for muff's conditions I think it would be pretty handy...
Got you. Kind of like a right angle drill? Which is another thing I need to get.
But since you mentioned a right angle drill, this guy is on my wishlist for around the house stuff and that one time I aaaaaacktually had to use a right angle adapter to get into a tight spot when I was building my deck... https://www.milwaukeetool.com/Products/ ... rs/2505-20
Sorry muffs, didn't mean to hijack your log to fan boy on milwaukee...
