Fuck The World Log

[EggMcMuffin]

Curling everyday seems to be working, which is nice. Definitely have stronger "arms", but they seem to be looking bigger too.

More triceps my dude.

I know, I just find it hard to keep up with. It seems to interfere with my benching. I don't know how go deal with other than stop being a bitch eat more but I don't want to do that right now.

I really wish gyms were still "open".

[mouse]

Curling everyday seems to be working, which is nice. Definitely have stronger "arms", but they seem to be looking bigger too.

More triceps my dude.

I know, I just find it hard to keep up with. It seems to interfere with my benching. I don't know how go deal with other than stop being a bitch eat more but I don't want to do that right now.

I really wish gyms were still "open".

Always ways to sneak them in, you doing close grip benching at all? If not stick it in a bench slot...

Do you have bands? Grab a red band from Westside (or Rogue or Amazon or whatevs) and throw a set of pressdowns after each bench set...

[EggMcMuffin]

Deload week, so nothing to write about. Will probably fail to set any PR's next week, as usual.

Experimented with some high bar squats. Did 115 3x5. Trying these again now feels much better, I think front squatting over the last few months helped somewhat. They feel better than lowbar, that's for sure.

My ass was getting too big from low bar squatting. Despite what Rip says, having an enormous ass is fucking disgusting. I really actually hate my body though, I've always fucking hated how I look. Too squat, too short, too wide hipped. I'm built like a goddamned woman, and not a pretty one. I've reached a 1005lb total in my lifetime which is absolutely....lame given how young I still am (doesn't feel that way) and I look like absolute fucking shit. Like literally, I just look like some pudgy dweeb who works at a call center. I'm not even strong compared to the average male.

I know I do this for health benefits, and originally got into fitness to keep from blowing my brains out due to dealing with undiagnosed (would it even matter if it was diagnosed?) depression and a whole host of psychological issues that are ruining and will continue to ruin what little remains of my life but man I can't help but feeling like I should quit lifting entirely, stop eating and just start running marathons and return to my ancestral skeleton man roots

I'm going to go harass Max Aita until he teaches me how to high bar, I forgot that he lives 30 miles away

Curling everyday seems to be working, which is nice. Definitely have stronger "arms", but they seem to be looking bigger too.

More triceps my dude.

I know, I just find it hard to keep up with. It seems to interfere with my benching. I don't know how go deal with other than stop being a bitch eat more but I don't want to do that right now.

I really wish gyms were still "open".

Always ways to sneak them in, you doing close grip benching at all? If not stick it in a bench slot...

Do you have bands? Grab a red band from Westside (or Rogue or Amazon or whatevs) and throw a set of pressdowns after each bench set...

I have a green band lying around, how do those work? Do you just do a gazillion reps until you get a pump? Incrementally loading these seems...dumb but wouldn't you eventually adapt and just reach the point where you're cranking out 1000^10 reps just to feel anything but bleak, unending despair?

[mouse]

I have a green band lying around, how do those work? Do you just do a gazillion reps until you get a pump? Incrementally loading these seems...dumb but wouldn't you eventually adapt and just reach the point where you're cranking out 1000^10 reps just to feel anything but bleak, unending despair?

Couple of ways to do it... but yeah, depending on the resistance of the band expect some high reps.

Just loop it through itself on something ip high and mimic the movement you'd do with a cable/rope attachment basically. You can change your hand positions to mix it up a bit. If after a while it gets too easy double up the band by just tossing it over something instead of looping it through.

Because the band is elastic and will want to pull back I tend to pause each rep for a second. Just mess around with it and find what you like, there's a ton of crap you can do with a band. Even if it's just a quick way to finish a bench day, go for an all out max reps set, wait 60 seconds, do it again, wait another 60, and do it one more time hahaha.

But yeah tricep is bigger than the bicep, and if you're looking for arm size growing those is where it's at...

For the record I dig bands for curls too... way easier to feel a good contraction with the band in my opinion...

Edit: I get that this is totally unnecessary but because your log was on my mind I pressed record so you can get an idea of what I meant by changing positions...

Basically I'm doing 15 curl reps on a doubled up red band with a figure 8 strap for a handle, and then 10 reps with my hand pronated, 10 with a neutral grip, and 10 supinated on the black band. I'm using a big machine bolt for a handle so I don't need to fiddle with the band...

Apologies for these all being unilateral lol

[Renascent]

I'm not even strong compared to the average male.

You sure about that? I don't mean to knock on men/people who don't lift for whatever reason(s), but you might be surprised at what a lot of folks can't do.

And +1 to @mouse's demonstration. Hell, I wouldn't even worry about the incremental loading aspect just yet. Get the consistency established, watch your bench increase, and then figure out where to go next.

And as for huge asses, I guess it depends on the ass.

[mouse]

And +1 to mouse's demonstration. Hell, I wouldn't even worry about the incremental loading aspect just yet. Get the consistency established, watch your bench increase, and then figure out where to go next.

Yep, 100% just use it as a way to finish off a bench day with some reps.

[EggMcMuffin]

Mental health has been really bad, as usual. Not running a program right now, just got off first run of Average 2 Savage.

It does not seem like I made much progress. I haven't tested 1RM's but based on the heavy singles I did last week I probably lost strength. I've been sleeping horribly and stress eating as a result along with a myriad of painful realizations (i.e, my life is not realistically going to change, ever) so I'm clocking in at around 177 at 5'9 which is FAT so....it's pretty bad.

Some hot jock guy literally said "EXCUSE ME" to me at work despite me not being in his path when he said that. I'm pretty used to abuse, both from friends and family AND strangers but for some reason that fucking cut deep. I was already having a bad day as a certain bald mans rapacious lust for profit means the entire store runs on a skeleton crew and I spent the majority of the day getting fucked Abner Louima style, but this sent me over the edge. I proceeded to say nothing and go back to stocking the tofu but in my head I was thinking,

"HOLY MOLY, I GOTTA GO SHITPOST ABOUT THIS ON MY LOG ON EXODUS STRENGTH DOT COM"

I sort of broke my brain by getting into politics of a certain persuasion and have spent a lot of time thinking about how to respond to the common right wing talking point that hierarchy is natural and that there is a genetic component to success but I always wind up thinking that maybe all the Nazi types and dudes that drive lifted F150's with a Thin Blue Line sticker who make more money as a boat dealer in a day than I make in two weeks are right and by virtue of being of a certain ethnic persuasion combined with already being a dweeb I will never unlock the higher levels of cognition and consciousness that those Big Dick types attain literally just by existing.

I don't know. I have been reflecting on my life a lot lately because I don't know what to do with it and I feel pretty shit all the time but I think about how much of my life has been demarcated from that of others by my experiences of failure and inadequacy. A lot of that probably has to do with being born to very poor parents who also didn't have their lives together but even as an adult I pretty much seem to either fail or fuck up at everything I do or try and let me tell you, it becomes hard to want to wake up in the morning when you realize you'll never have the same type of energy and confidence as the 6'2 jock guy telling me to excuse him as he buys $10000000 worth of groceries that he pays for with a job he got from going to UC Davis because he's.....just....better.

I'm largely being sardonic at this point but I have always really felt that it's hard as hell to be a person. I don't know how the average person does it, but they do. It's way harder when you're some dude like me who, for some reason, has always struggled with being a normally functioning bipedal primate within the context of other featherless bipeds. Despite being a mud person I remember scoring in the 99th percentile on the CogAT as a kid and being told I'm "intellectually gifted" and then not being sure what to do with that but I have to wonder if 99% of my problems are just me being way too stuck in my own thoughts. I'm not sure it's at all normal to just go mentally apeshit at every single thought you have, and I have tons of them by the second.

This log is Dedicated To The Brave Exodus Shitposters so I gotta go back to talking about training, but...

I decided to run 3 miles, but I ran 4 on accident. Is that "winning?"



The whole world stinks so no ones taking showers anymore...

[mgil]

Make deadlifts a priority for a bit and just get some reps in. Easiest lift to setup and walk away from.

[EggMcMuffin]

why the fuck is college way harder than deadlifting 600000

I don't know if I have ADHD or something but I've always found it fucking impossible to focus on literally anything more than a few minutes which is probably why I've never gotten good at anything

I want to finish my shitty degree already, I'm nearly 30 but goddamn it just sucks so fucking much

I haven't lifted in a week

I'm going drive off a cliff

[EggMcMuffin]

I don't lift, but I really struggle with two things:

1. How the fuck do most people dedicate themselves to to things so completely? Like I see some of the serious competitors on BBM and that frame of mind is so alien to me. I'm struggling with school and training a lot right now and I have no idea how so many people just go full speed ahead terminator and just completely annihilate their goals. I pretty much got to deadlifting 420 largely by accident. I basically don't really give a shit. I just show up, eat McDonalds, and sleep like anywhere from 4-12 hours on an inconsistent schedule. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't even know what the direction "left" is.

2. Will it even matter when, if I ever deadlift 500? What has changed really? Has lifting weights become like a never ending spiritual jihad? Why am I even doing this? I'm not a "weightlifter" nor am I a weightlifting kind of guy. I just got into this mess more or less because I realized gym memberships were cheap and I feel like I just do it because I'm so fucking awful at everything else that if I didn't have my laughably mediocre lifts to fall back on I would just walk into the ocean and not come back. How does anyone even find some deeper meaning?

Why is it so fucking hot? Why is my home gym so shitty? Do I even fucking lift?

[EggMcMuffin]

I forgot about this thing lmao

[EggMcMuffin]

Start posting in here again because I'm addicted to posting. Fuck the world.

Chins yesterday, Hanley protocol is really good. Got up to my first set of AMRAP for 12 reps, which would be good but I lost a bunch of weight so it doesn't actually count.

I think I went like 12, 10, 8, 8.

Want to try to see if I can bang out 20. I am paying more attention to getting good ROM. I never noticed until I posted cringe on the BBM group that I half repped these for a long time.

Biceps remain small. Life is suffering.

We squat later tonight. Maybe bench too. I need lifting again.

[augeleven]

I half repped these for a long time.

Biceps remain small.

I feel like half rep-ing chins takes out most of the elbow flexion?

You’re gonna get there.
Positive vibes.

[EggMcMuffin]

Fuck The World

195lbs 4x4 LBBS
Running a fucked up LP on this lift, have been way too mentally weird in the last year to really lift. I did miss squatting. I hate it, but I hate basically everything at this point.

Majoring in STEM was a mistake. I have next to no free time because I spend all day banging my head against the wall on trivial subjects like Diff Eq and first semester physics. I'm finding out there is indeed a cognitive limit to certain endeavors. I just want to lift and play me drumset. Is that so much to ask? I turn 30 soon. FUCK

Hopefully I have time to run tomorrow.

[EggMcMuffin]

Bench 135 3x8 (how should I progress this?)
Easing back into it all. Not really following a program. Read 168lbs on the scale this morning. I am losing weight again?

Chins as usual. 2nd day, AMRAP 14 + 5 min density

[EggMcMuffin]

Fuck the world. Fuck lifting weights! Fuck having a corporeal form! I want to be a lifeless form!

LBBS 205 4x4. This is getting heavy quicker than I anticipated. Granted I am now far less of a fat ass, but...

Likely switching to 3x5 next workout, and 5lb jumps. I don't want to engrain any fucked up habits, even though I am likely experienced enough to handle the heavier weights even at a lower body weight. Hoping to get some stability back in my routine. Doing a poor job given I woke up at 8AM and it's 5AM and I'm still awake. I'm not on drugs or anything, but I've really, really been living wrong since I was about like 24 or so. Almost 27 now. I wish I could unfuck my shit. I have a mountain of personal problems, and I have come to realize lifting weights is nowhere near the panacea that lots of the influencer types that preyed on insecure beta males like me when I was a kid made it out to be. You can have the discipline to show up to every workout and still be an enormous piece of shit outside of the gym.

I don't know. I've had a shitty life. Most people who live and die have shitty, pointless lives. I guess that's okay.

Waiting to hop back on a program, but these STEM classes are kicking my ass. Same feeling as when I started squatting past 255 for the first time. Pants shitting dread.

[Renascent]

Fuck the world. Fuck lifting weights! Fuck having a corporeal form! I want to be a lifeless form!

LBBS 205 4x4. This is getting heavy quicker than I anticipated. Granted I am now far less of a fat ass, but...

Likely switching to 3x5 next workout, and 5lb jumps. I don't want to engrain any fucked up habits, even though I am likely experienced enough to handle the heavier weights even at a lower body weight. Hoping to get some stability back in my routine. Doing a poor job given I woke up at 8AM and it's 5AM and I'm still awake. I'm not on drugs or anything, but I've really, really been living wrong since I was about like 24 or so. Almost 27 now. I wish I could unfuck my shit. I have a mountain of personal problems, and I have come to realize lifting weights is nowhere near the panacea that lots of the influencer types that preyed on insecure beta males like me when I was a kid made it out to be. You can have the discipline to show up to every workout and still be an enormous piece of shit outside of the gym.

I don't know. I've had a shitty life. Most people who live and die have shitty, pointless lives. I guess that's okay.

Waiting to hop back on a program, but these STEM classes are kicking my ass. Same feeling as when I started squatting past 255 for the first time. Pants shitting dread.

Ever thought about bodybuilding... just for fun?

[EggMcMuffin]

210 3x5
my ass hurts

I only weigh 170lbs, I'm dying

edit: chins, AMRAP 4x

was moving doors all yesterday, no energy today feel like SHIT

FUCK

[CheekiBreekiFitness]

Love reading your log, it's quite funny, you should log more often.

[EggMcMuffin]

This shit isn't funny when you're living it!!!!

Was going to bench today, didn't happen. Too busy banging my head against the wall. Doing Diff Eq homework while being "yeah yeah kill yourself, good idea, solid choice" in your head is really hard. Did some chins as usual.

15 AMRAP + 5 min density block

Got my haircut and now I look like an ever bigger idiot than before FUCK