Exodus Strength

The last few years I've smoked a turkey breast for Thanksgiving. It's brined, covered in a mustard rub, wrapped in bacon, and glazed with thyme and honey. It works out very well. The process pretty much turns a turkey breast into a ham. I got the recipe from APL's serious BBQ.

I'm thinking about trying to smoke a spatchcoked whole turkey this year. This video looks promising.

I'm doing prime rib this year. No more fart birds at Root's house.

Root wrote: ↑Tue Nov 12, 2019 5:41 pm I'm doing prime rib this year. No more fart birds at Root's house.

Butcher near me has fart birds they brine for like a week then smoke with Applewood. If I were to be required to cook fartbird, I'd get one of those. But I'd also do, like, ribs or something.

I like fartbirds, but my home farter can't fit a turkey. I've tried to make a big ass pile of hardwood and mount the spatchcocked turkey to a grate suspended down wind of the fire. This resulted in good flavor, but after a few hours the turkey was still at fridge temperature. Of course, I tried this on a 20 degree day, so the issue might have been the day/not the technique.

Now I cook my turkeys half on the grill/stove top, half in the oven. Place turkey in roasting pan, tent the bottom half of the turkey with aluminium foil. Cook on stove top for 1, maybe 1.5 hours (or on an open grill). This gets the bottom half, that takes way longer, moving. Prepare big pile of stuffing (I am a bad person I prefer the dry mix stuff, with extra bits added to real stuffing) by heating the dry mix in oven to ~200 degrees, mix with boiling stock and immediately pack into turkey cavity. Place sliced and frozen (or very chilled) 1/3rd inch thick slabs of butter between skin and breast, tons of butter, cannot possible pack too much on. Toss in a cup or two of stock, maybe some win, into the roasting pan. Cook in 325/300 convection oven till your leave in thermometer in deepest joint reads 150. Crank oven, maybe basting, to 400/425. Cook until outside is golden brown and delicious. Should take about 20 more minutes, this will usually coincide perfectly with the slowest part of the bird hitting 160. Tent and allow carryover, maybe in oven, to 165. If the breast is done wayyy before, remove from bird and allow the rest of the turkey to finishing cooking before reassembling for final presentation.

If the pan starts to fill up too much with liquid, drain some off and set aside. A few inches around the bottom when in the oven (for a braise/roast effect) can help keep the bottom cooking on pace with the top.

5hout wrote: ↑Wed Nov 13, 2019 7:42 am I like fartbirds, but my home farter can't fit a turkey. I've tried to make a big ass pile of hardwood and mount the spatchcocked turkey to a grate suspended down wind of the fire. This resulted in good flavor, but after a few hours the turkey was still at fridge temperature. Of course, I tried this on a 20 degree day, so the issue might have been the day/not the technique.

Break down your fartbird. Cooks better and easier that way.

Allentown wrote: ↑Wed Nov 13, 2019 7:48 am
Break down your fartbird. Cooks better and easier that way.

You're correct, for any day but Thanksgiving. I love the whole bird presentation, parted out isn't as good. Most I'll do is pop the breasts off part-way through cooking to keep them from overcooking.

I'm hosting T-day for the first time ever at my house, which gives me ultimate power over the menu. My family and my wife's family are traditionalists, and the thought of not having Turkey for Thanksgiving is anathema to them. They also require oven cooked, stuffing inside the turkey, and Norman Rockwell presentation.

Not this year.

I'm smoking a boneless lamb leg roast with Turkish style spice rub/marinade based on this recipe here: https://jesspryles.com/recipe/juicy-smoked-lamb-leg/. My wife demanded a turkey too, but I only agreed to do it if I had control over the process. I'm going to spatchcock it, and cook it on the grill. Stuffing will have to be done outside the bird. I may try to catch drippings and mix them into the stuffing to get it closer to internal style stuffing, but we'll see. I'll probably drybrine the bird, and do an herb rub.

I'll be honest, I too 100% unironically love the traditional Thanksgiving dinner.
But...
I'd be happy if I didn't have to eat a piece of turkey. Cook a small one as table dressing, chop it up, and make a turkey pie.

My jam is making turkey stock the weekend ahead of time. I strain it off, let it set up in a bowl overnight, and then skim all the fat off the top.

I use the turkey stock for dressing.

I also use it to braise my turkey dark meat with more aromatics. I then strain off that double-stock. Make a roux with the turkey fat, and whisk in the double-stock for my gravy. It's a good system.

Turkey drumsticks and giblets. Fuck the breast meat. Stuffing from the bird. Cranberry sauce but not on the turkey. Turkey is good once a year.

omaniphil wrote: ↑Wed Nov 13, 2019 8:51 am ...ultimate power...
...had control over the process...

My man...
Put haggis in your turkey stuffing.
Don't tell them.

I'm also hosting Bird Day, and am cooking for my wife's militantly milquetoast family.
I feel drunk with power.

Turns out I am hosting. Beef is on the menu.

Someone here needs to do this

God that would smell like something my cat threw up.

Allentown wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 7:45 am God that would smell like something my cat threw up.

So....like fart bird?

Allentown wrote: ↑Sat Nov 23, 2019 4:24 am Turns out I am hosting. Beef is on the menu.

What cut of beef? I'm considering going with Loin roast (NY strip) instead of rib roast. It's like 40% cheaper and supposed to be quite good as a roast.

Root wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 10:43 am What cut of beef? I'm considering going with Loin roast (NY strip) instead of rib roast. It's like 40% cheaper and supposed to be quite good as a roast.

Rib roast. Thought about getting Prime from Costco but the packages were all comically large and I didn't want to drop $200 on the meat portion of dinner for 6 people. Need to find out what time food has to be ready, lunch or dinner, so I can plan accordingly. Might smoke it for a bit then sous vide it the rest of the way.
Also doing some pre-cut fartbird breasts my wife brought home, not sure how I'm going to do them without it turning into the bland, dry husk exemplified by your typical birdtit. Cranberry glaze?

Allentown wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:02 am

Root wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 10:43 am What cut of beef? I'm considering going with Loin roast (NY strip) instead of rib roast. It's like 40% cheaper and supposed to be quite good as a roast.

Rib roast. Thought about getting Prime from Costco but the packages were all comically large and I didn't want to drop $200 on the meat portion of dinner for 6 people. Need to find out what time food has to be ready, lunch or dinner, so I can plan accordingly. Might smoke it for a bit then sous vide it the rest of the way.
Also doing some pre-cut fartbird breasts my wife brought home, not sure how I'm going to do them without it turning into the bland, dry husk exemplified by your typical birdtit. Cranberry glaze?

Dude. Get the prime, hack off a small roast befitting a table of 6 (keeping in mind you also have fartbird), and cut the rest into steaks and freeze them individually or in packs of 2.

Not sure about fartbird breasts. Maybe just brine them and smoke them.

Root wrote: ↑Mon Nov 25, 2019 12:14 pm Dude. Get the prime, hack off a small roast befitting a table of 6 (keeping in mind you also have fartbird), and cut the rest into steaks and freeze them individually or in packs of 2.

Not sure about fartbird breasts. Maybe just brine them and smoke them.

I'm sorry, did I climb into a Reason cannon, strap on my Reason helmet, and land in Reason Land, where Reason fruit grows on Reason Trees and I can just reach up and pick a fresh Reason and just take a big bite?

Honestly I was probably pretty sleep deprived and just overly excited to be alone and out of the house. I was staring at these 16+lb hunks of meat thinking "well how am I going to fit that on my grill, and what would I do with the remaining 14lbs of smoked meat even if I COULD fit it..."

I went the cheap route and bought a top sirloin roast today. 7 pounds for under $50. Currently sitting in the fridge uncovered and rubbed with olive-oil-paste made of
- salt
- pepper
- rosemary
- garlic powder
- onion powder
- oregano
- chili powder
- coriander
- cayenne

Should I inject it? Do people inject roasts?