Need some input... family cabin, in law issues

[Oldandfat]

Honestly, this worked out the 100% the best way for you.

You were agreeable. You compromised. You put your family (your wife) first. The other parties were intractable and unreasonable. They showed their true colors.

It is unfortunate that your wife now has to acknowledge who the people in her life really are. But your relationship with your wife is no longer in jeopardy, you don't have to buy a cabin you didn't really want, and you don't inherit the 'Jeff' problem in perpetuity.

You can now be the sister's husband and refer to Jeff as 'fuck nut'.

Pm sent again. Sorry, lol.

[Oldandfat]

Sorry guys, I’m wide awake thinking to myself.

It’s been two days. I was at least expecting another visit.

“Omg I’m so sorry I owe you a huge apology “

“Can we start over? I made a huge mistake and I regret it”

Does she actually believe I manipulated her? Took advantage of her? Is that why she hasn’t apologized?

Or is she that fucked up mentally that she thought she was playing hardball and renegotiating? Cost of doing bussiness?

[asdf]

she did offer to put up the 20k towards the repair.

Okay. I hope I'm wrong.

[Oldandfat]

she did offer to put up the 20k towards the repair.

Okay. I hope I'm wrong.

I hope you’re wrong more than you hope you’re wrong, lol.

[convergentsum]

Sorry guys, I’m wide awake thinking to myself.

It’s been two days. I was at least expecting another visit.

“Omg I’m so sorry I owe you a huge apology “

“Can we start over? I made a huge mistake and I regret it”

Does she actually believe I manipulated her? Took advantage of her? Is that why she hasn’t apologized?

Or is she that fucked up mentally that she thought she was playing hardball and renegotiating? Cost of doing bussiness?

She isn't going to apologise. This isn't about right/wrong, good judgement/bad judgement to her, it's about loyalty.
Be happy that you have the understanding of your wife and children. It's all you're going to get, and luckily they're the important ones anyway.

If she apologizes, I'll buy the damn cabin myself.*






*not a contract

[Oldandfat]

We negotiated and shake hands back in June. Everybody was on board, even fuck nuts. He wasn’t happy but was sold on the fact he can still drink beer and not have financial responsibility.

Of course I worked my ass off again, and obviously not minding because it’s our cottage now.

When we said we were closing up on thanksgiving she defends him because “he didn’t really get to enjoy the cottage this year”. He enjoyed it more than I did.

What’s so bizarre is she appeared fine for months. Right up until Saturday for the final review of the documents.

If you didn’t like the deal then say so. Don’t let me put up the money, and do all the fucking work and then last minute back out, and basically call me an evil person.

You just can’t make this shit up.

[brkriete]

I did tell my wife I’d be willing to let her keep the 38k in exchange for 15% ownership, but don’t expect me to show up, or do any work. Mom can do whatever with the other 85%. Give me 2 weeks out of the year at my choice EXCLUSIVLY and I don’t care if it deteriorates to shit.

Jesus fuck no.

At this point it seems like you just want stay involved so you can rant about it. Get whatever you can back and walk away.

[Oldandfat]

I did tell my wife I’d be willing to let her keep the 38k in exchange for 15% ownership, but don’t expect me to show up, or do any work. Mom can do whatever with the other 85%. Give me 2 weeks out of the year at my choice EXCLUSIVLY and I don’t care if it deteriorates to shit.

Jesus fuck no.

At this point it seems like you just want stay involved so you can rant about it. Get whatever you can back and walk away.

Not at all. Yes I’m ranting at this point, but I’m still shell shocked that this actually happened.

Mom basically handed me a “walk away from the cabin from hell” card.

And sadly, now I know exactly how she feels about me

[MPhelps]

Have it written up that you'll receive 38k from the sale of the cabin for the foundation. Then walk far away from there.

Personally, I would never buy a cabin on a lake unless I owned the whole fucking lake. It's like you buy a tiny piece of property and all of the nosy neighbors that are up each other's asses all the time and dropping a dime every time someone does something to their land. And you get to go on a boat sometimes.

[Oldandfat]

Have it written up that you'll receive 38k from the sale of the cabin for the foundation. Then walk far away from there.

Personally, I would never buy a cabin on a lake unless I owned the whole fucking lake. It's like you buy a tiny piece of property and all of the nosy neighbors that are up each other's asses all the time and dropping a dime every time someone does something to their land. And you get to go on a boat sometimes.

I’ll see if she ponies up first. She said she may “just hang on for a bit” and see what happens. I told her not to expect me to attend nor do any work.

There are only 31 cabins on this lake. Very remote and quiet (except for fuck nuts). Lots of history. It’s a community that has roots extending back almost a hundred years. You really have to experience this place to understand why I did what I did for 10 years, and why I’ve bent over backwards to accommodate this shit head.

As much work as it is it’s a shame it’s come to this. I’ve been far more tolerant than I should have been.

Fuck nuts is entitled to nothing. The fact he’s been coming out for 38 years and how dare we even think of banning him/ how dare we? He would have only been banned by not following rules. So in effect he’d be banning himself.

The fact he’d rather mommy sell so NO ONE gets the cabin tells all. It’s about his ego not the cabin. He’s that fucking stupid. My wife will write her off, and even though fuck nuts would rather mommy sell, he will unleash fucking hell on her after she,does, when he realizes he has no cabin.

I’m starting to question if this is even fucking real. This guy can’t possibly be stupid enough to screw himself out of a cabin to screw us? Like literally dude don’t shoot a gun, turn the music down and when we tell you the cabin is closed for the season accept it and appreciate the fact I was willing to sacrifice a lot to save this place for you.

Same for mom, like wtf?

[MPhelps]

31?? That would have to be a huge lake for that to appeal to me. I just know from experience that lake cabins are almost as much about the neighbors as they are about the lake itself.

[Oldandfat]

31?? That would have to be a huge lake for that to appeal to me. I just know from experience that lake cabins are almost as much about the neighbors as they are about the lake itself.

That’s not a lot of cabins. The lake is 3/4 mile by 3/4 mile.

You’d really have to see the layout and experience it. It’s not a bunch of yahoo’s renting cabins each year.
It’s not a cabin, cottage, or a lake. It’s a community. Hard to explain. I didn’t “get it” until I started going out.

Then I got it, almost had it, and thankfully lost it!

There will be lots of happy people if mom sells to an outsider. If she hangs on it will be for a year, maybe two at the most before she realizes the mistake she made. I do feel bad for the neighbors on either side. Really good people, and fantastic neighbors. They have had a bad number of years with fuck nuts.

[Oldandfat]

So,the saga continues. Today is one month since our deal fell apart.

Wife sent an email to mom stating it’s been a month and when can we expect my money.

Mom replied this afternoon stating she’d pay me 5k at the end of the month, and then some monthly installments, at which time she’d apply for a loan, and ‘ or look into cashing in a life insurance policy.

So, how do I respond to this?

Do I keep the lawyer involved? Do I set up payments? Print something off on the computer?
Does she need a whole life policy? She’s retired. I know she can sell dads truck (unless fuckhead is still driving it).

What do you guys think? What’s reasonable? What’s reasonable for me to ask?

Wife is onboard for whatever I like, and is disgusted with her mom, and has stated there is no longer a relationship with her mother.

It’s a lot of money, and I expect to be paid back, but it’s not life changing.

What say yee?

[Oldandfat]

And thinking a bit more..... had we gone through with the purchase the 38k would be gone forever, and I’d have cottage expenses. Plus I’d be dealing with shithead. But now that I’m not going to the cabin,I could use the money for other things.

I just want something written in the event mom dies and I have a claim on the estate. (Assuming shithead gets everything)

She can pay what she wants, when she,can. Or is that being too nice?

I can go with a lien too I suppose.

Just trying,to,figure,out what’s the right play here.

[hsilman]

And thinking a bit more..... had we gone through with the purchase the 38k would be gone forever, and I’d have cottage expenses. Plus I’d be dealing with shithead. But now that I’m not going to the cabin,I could use the money for other things.

I just want something written in the event mom dies and I have a claim on the estate. (Assuming shithead gets everything)

She can pay what she wants, when she,can. Or is that being too nice?

I can go with a lien too I suppose.

Just trying,to,figure,out what’s the right play here.

Replying to bold, that's basically saying you don't want to get paid.

You need a lawyer to write up an acceptable, legally binding financial contract. Period. A claim on the estate will be good, assuming the lawyer can basically guarantee it is ironclad and paid first, otherwise expect to not get the money.

In fact, based on the mom's response, you are looking at probably not ever seeing most of that money again. She might make this first 5k "payment" but you may very well have to sue her to get the funds, and even then not sure how civil law work where you are and since she doesn't have the cash I don't know if you can force her to sell assets to pay you.

[Oldandfat]

And thinking a bit more..... had we gone through with the purchase the 38k would be gone forever, and I’d have cottage expenses. Plus I’d be dealing with shithead. But now that I’m not going to the cabin,I could use the money for other things.

I just want something written in the event mom dies and I have a claim on the estate. (Assuming shithead gets everything)

She can pay what she wants, when she,can. Or is that being too nice?

I can go with a lien too I suppose.

Just trying,to,figure,out what’s the right play here.

Replying to bold, that's basically saying you don't want to get paid.

You need a lawyer to write up an acceptable, legally binding financial contract. Period. A claim on the estate will be good, assuming the lawyer can basically guarantee it is ironclad and paid first, otherwise expect to not get the money.

In fact, based on the mom's response, you are looking at probably not ever seeing most of that money again. She might make this first 5k "payment" but you may very well have to sue her to get the funds, and even then not sure how civil law work where you are and since she doesn't have the cash I don't know if you can force her to sell assets to pay you.

I figured she was going to put the cabin up for sale and pay me back. It will be sold in a few years for sure. She can’t afford to maintain it, and fuck nuts will not do any work, and the neighbors will escalate complaints with Jeff possibly evicting him from the park, so there’d be no point in keeping the cabin.

I will contact a lawyer then. Was really hoping not having to do so but it looks like she doesn’t have the money.

How would a lien on the cabin work? If she leaves everything to fuck nuts, how do I get money from an asset that’s gifted to him? It’s not actually “sold”.

We are replying to her email this morning, asking her for more specifics as to what kind of installment payments, and why is she waiting for a few months to get a loan, rather than doing it now.

What would I charge for interest? Do I charge interest?

She was family, but not anymore. She hasn’t apologized yet for her behavior, and comments. That’s even more sad than the money owing. An apology is free. Even if she doesn’t mean it, as long as she thinks I believe it.

[hsilman]

And thinking a bit more..... had we gone through with the purchase the 38k would be gone forever, and I’d have cottage expenses. Plus I’d be dealing with shithead. But now that I’m not going to the cabin,I could use the money for other things.

I just want something written in the event mom dies and I have a claim on the estate. (Assuming shithead gets everything)

She can pay what she wants, when she,can. Or is that being too nice?

I can go with a lien too I suppose.

Just trying,to,figure,out what’s the right play here.

Replying to bold, that's basically saying you don't want to get paid.

You need a lawyer to write up an acceptable, legally binding financial contract. Period. A claim on the estate will be good, assuming the lawyer can basically guarantee it is ironclad and paid first, otherwise expect to not get the money.

In fact, based on the mom's response, you are looking at probably not ever seeing most of that money again. She might make this first 5k "payment" but you may very well have to sue her to get the funds, and even then not sure how civil law work where you are and since she doesn't have the cash I don't know if you can force her to sell assets to pay you.

I figured she was going to put the cabin up for sale and pay me back. It will be sold in a few years for sure. She can’t afford to maintain it, and fuck nuts will not do any work, and the neighbors will escalate complaints with Jeff possibly evicting him from the park, so there’d be no point in keeping the cabin.

I will contact a lawyer then. Was really hoping not having to do so but it looks like she doesn’t have the money.

How would a lien on the cabin work? If she leaves everything to fuck nuts, how do I get money from an asset that’s gifted to him? It’s not actually “sold”.

We are replying to her email this morning, asking her for more specifics as to what kind of installment payments, and why is she waiting for a few months to get a loan, rather than doing it now.

What would I charge for interest? Do I charge interest?

She was family, but not anymore. She hasn’t apologized yet for her behavior, and comments. That’s even more sad than the money owing. An apology is free. Even if she doesn’t mean it, as long as she thinks I believe it.

You're entering "laws may vary in your jurisdiction" territory. You could possibly post on r/legaladvice about what kind of lawyer to talk to. I have no idea if the advice given there is good or not, as I'm not a lawyer. I wouldn't give the whole backstory just "gave MIL 38k for cabin(was anything in writing?), she decided not to sell it to me, but doesn't have my money. What do?" Could mention the estate thing if you don't expect to get paid back in her lifetime.

[Oldandfat]

I’ll just retain the lawyer we were using for the cabin purchase. They do real estate, estate planning, etc.

I’ll ask mom to be more specific as to what she can pay now, and if she can scrape together anything else, and from there what kind of payback she was thinking.

Wife figures mom didn’t actually look into getting a loan /cash in life policy etc. she waited the month expecting us to reconsider her “new deal” (possibly expecting my wife’s emotional attachment to the cabin??)

Then I present to the lawyer for an opinion.

Even though I have wife’s blessing to “do what I need to do” to get my money back I’m conflicted.....

A deal is a deal, and you don’t go back on your word. If the deal is with family it’s even more important. Mom has essentially thrown not just me under the bus, but her entire family (except baby Jeff).

She has not apologized for her behavior so I’m not inclined to treat her any special, but I wouldnt want her to be homeless to pay me back.

On the other hand there is a truck that has some value, but fuck nuts is,\ driving it because he can’t afford to insure his own truck (no job) so I kinda feel like I’m subsidizing Fuck nuts if she doesn’t sell the truck

I know I have to let go of the hatred towards Fuck nuts. Trust me I’m just happy I got out of having to share a cabin with him.

If mom can scrape together a bit more and get closer to 38k I’d even accept that and consider it a cost of a fuck nuts free life!

It’s all starting to make sense now. The other sister Charlotte, and boyfriend Ron have been on the “outs” with the familly.

10 years ago Ron and Jeff had a fight at the cabin. (Same deal...Jeff was a freeloading sack of shit and Ron called him out ) Ron was banished from the cabin but as far as I knew they were lazy, and Ron was a “piece of shit” according to Jeff.

Charlotte was the crazy one saying mom was a cunt (her words not mine), and Jeff was a,write off. She actually kicked both of her sons out of the house and her reason was “I,don’t,want them to,be like Jeff”.

So I’m now the new Ron. I stood up to poor baby Jeff, and now I’m the villain.

My wife said yesterday “mom will get older, and weaker and no one left to take care of her”.

[Philbert]

Don't waste time, in many jurisdictions you have a short statute of limitations to file a lien. A lien at least puts you at the front of the line when Jeff loses the cabin for overdue taxes, or tries to sell it. Definitely talk to your lawyer.

[Oldandfat]

Don't waste time, in many jurisdictions you have a short statute of limitations to file a lien. A lien at least puts you at the front of the line when Jeff loses the cabin for overdue taxes, or tries to sell it. Definitely talk to your lawyer.

I’m attempting to get an IOU signed. A lien is great but I don’t collect until it’s sold.

Mom is insulted I’m asking her to sign one because she didn’t make us sign for the interest free loan portion of the cabin (we had a clause for us to sign in the agreement). She’s the one who backed out of the deal so why should I trust her?

She keeps ranting about Jeff not being given a chance to prove himself, and that I’m not picking him. (He was fighting me on not being able to come out past thanksgiving, and defied my no firearms rule). I don’t know exactly how many “chances” he should get?

She’s just getting nasty with the language. I’m really twisted up. A deal is a deal, but her finances are tight. I don’t want to,drag this through a court, but she also hasn’t apologized.

She’s already lined up someone to replace the deck (she owes me first?) and was critical Of a door knob I installed.

I know for a fact she is not in a good state because Jeff is abusing her yet she allows it to continue despite asking for our help.

I’m also thinking early onset dementia or something?? She’s all over the map. I mean she has to know her son is a fuck up. She has to. At some point after many many people having an issue or altercation with Jeff you’d think she’d realize that it’s HIM that’s the issue.

You just can’t make this,shit up