Training for New Dads

[Chebass88]

After some discussion in the "Bad idea" thread, it is probably worthwhile to have a thread about how to train as a new dad.

If anyone has any useful tips - feel free to add them!

My wife gave birth to twins in October of 2013. Talk about a sleep killer! Throughout all of this, I was dedicated to getting stronger. Not-training was not an option. No matter what else had to suffer (my lawn), I was going to train. I trained hard until they arrived, as I knew I was going to have a nice deload. I can provide exact numbers of my lifts if that would be helpful, but if I remember, my deadlift was 535, squat 520 with wraps, bench ~320 before they arrived.

A few things that helped me:
1. Change the goalposts. Trying to increase top end strength on big lifts with extreme sleep limitations is ridiculously tough. So focus on something else. For the first month or two, I did a Ken Leistner abbreviated program (two sessions per week, a total of four lifts, just a couple sets per lift). I was in & out of the gym in a half hour or so. When I got tired of that one (I began adding things in, so it was no longer abbreviated), I began focusing on the Olympic lifts.

2. Optimize your training habits AND programming. Select your program carefully to match your limitations. Things like Texas Method should be tossed out immediately. Three hours in a gym, squatting near-5RM weights for sets across? NOPE. You can make a lot of progress squatting, deadlifting, and benching only once per week. (try it out). Chose rep & set schemes that minimize time in the gym. You'll be surprised at how little you **need** to progress. Density blocks can be great. Cut rest times to minimum required (hint: you don't need to sit on your ass for 8-10 minutes...), and use your rest time productively, such as by setting up for the next lift. Or change the set & rep routines to enable minimal rest. Set up for the next session as soon as you're done (rack position, starting weights, etc.) Any time saved is more time you can spend lifting.

3. Put the big rocks in the bucket first. Exercise selection should be for biggest bang-for-buck exercises. Deadlifts, back squats, bench press, and press. If you have a half hour to train - you can get a decent deadlift and press session done. Forget the chin-ups, dips, curls, rows, KB-swings, front squats, etc. If you have more time - add in accessory exercises.

4. Train whenever you can. When they sleep - you can train, especially if your spouse is home at the same time. When your own parents or in-laws come to visit the baby - get out and train. As soon as the little one(s) go to sleep - go out and train. Wake up a half hour early to train. If you have any spare time - train. What is better - sitting on your ass watching Netflix or training?

5. Coffee. And lots of it. And ibuprofen.

6. With time and consistency, you can earn back any "losses" AND surpass them. No big deal. Track PRs, and be positive about your progress. It might not be a guru-written program designed for a meet, but WGAF? Slow progress is progress.

7. Make sure your spouse is happy and that she gets time to herself as well. It is not kosher to come home, after she has been with baby / babies all day, and your first words are "Cool - I need to go do hobby time - see ya!". If you get a half hour or hour of fun time - make sure she does also. This one cannot be understated.

8. Be accessible during training. Popping in to change a diaper isn't all that bad - it is extra rest! This ties in with No. 3 - if you've already deadlifted, and are just squeezing in some extra pull-ups - you can end the session without any real worry of missing anything of real value.

[unruhschuh]

Nice summary. I have nothing to add right now. Can't stress #7 enough, though.

[LexAnderson]

Great write up! Thanks for all the info, seriously this will help new Dads a lot. I myself switch to a 2 then 3 day a week program at first then was able to get in a regular 4 day split. Even now I just do 2 main lifts per session, and sometime an accessory or some light walking on the treadmill if time allows. Coffee is a gift from God!

[ShuggyBear]

* Post Removed, I don't want to hijack a great thread with nonsense. Great post, Bass!

[broseph]

@chebass my twins just turned 2. Nice write up.

I have 4 kids under 6, 1 with special needs. But I also have a weird job where I don’t actuallly work a ton of hours, so training has been decent the past couple years.

The only advice I can offer is to schedule your heavy/priority day(s) on the weekend. You won’t get more sleep on the weekend because kids, but at least there’s no work. If you miss a lighter day here and there- no big deal. But knowing you at least got that hard session done is good for motivation.

[damufunman]

Thanks for the write up Chebass! It's good to know others have successfully done it.

[Allentown]

#7 should be #1, especially during the first few months, but the rest of the time as well. My wife was off work for three months, and every day when I got home I tried to take the kid for at least an hour.

[damufunman]

#7 should be #1, especially during the first few months, but the rest of the time as well. My wife was off work for three months, and every day when I got home I tried to take the kid for at least an hour.

I suspected this was the case, I mean we got off relatively easily for the first 9 months right? Plus I've heard hanging out with a newborn all day without adult interaction is tough for many people.

[Allentown]

I suspected this was the case, I mean we got off relatively easily for the first 9 months right? Plus I've heard hanging out with a newborn all day without adult interaction is tough for many people.

On most days, if I was able to get a single load of laundry through the washer and dryer and into a pile in the guest bedroom, and the dishwasher unloaded, I considered it an incredibly productive day.

[damufunman]

I suspected this was the case, I mean we got off relatively easily for the first 9 months right? Plus I've heard hanging out with a newborn all day without adult interaction is tough for many people.

On most days, if I was able to get a single load of laundry through the washer and dryer and into a pile in the guest bedroom, and the dishwasher unloaded, I considered it an incredibly productive day.

Haha that's how I feel now!

[LexAnderson]

Started the dishwasher this morning, clothes still in the washer from last night. I'm 1-2, ain't complaining too much.

[unruhschuh]

#7 should be #1, especially during the first few months, but the rest of the time as well. My wife was off work for three months, and every day when I got home I tried to take the kid for at least an hour.

Yep, having a baby is a real stress test for your marriage/relationship as it is. Adding training to the equation has its pitfalls, but it might also help you to preserve your own sanity. Just make sure she has the opportunity to get away from it all an relax once in a while, too.

[Allentown]

I suspected this was the case, I mean we got off relatively easily for the first 9 months right? Plus I've heard hanging out with a newborn all day without adult interaction is tough for many people.

On most days, if I was able to get a single load of laundry through the washer and dryer and into a pile in the guest bedroom, and the dishwasher unloaded, I considered it an incredibly productive day.

Haha that's how I feel now!

This was when I was off work, mind you. When something like "taking a shower" becomes a luxury...

[Chebass88]

One thing I neglected to mention...

My wife decided to stay home after her maternity leave ended. Many of the time-suck things are removed from the equation. I help wherever possible, but a majority of the time she handles laundry, dinner, etc. My recommendations would likely be different if she worked, and I did not have this luxury.

She is supportive of me getting stronger, and knows that training helps to focus me and make me a better human being. This is truly awesome.

[Allentown]

One thing I neglected to mention...

My wife decided to stay home after her maternity leave ended. Many of the time-suck things are removed from the equation. I help wherever possible, but a majority of the time she handles laundry, dinner, etc. My recommendations would likely be different if she worked, and I did not have this luxury.

This is important. My wife took 3 months off, then I took three months. During the time I was off, I actually got a pretty good run of training in- either during nap times, or taking him out into the garage with me. Now we are both working. I have a slightly flexible 40hr- 5 days required, but I can start or leave within a 2 or 3 hour window as long as I get about 40 hours and all my work is done. Wife works ~45-55 hours a week, Tues-Fri with some Sat and a few Sun. I do most laundry, dinner, cleaning, yard work, so on.

[ithryn]

Oh how'd I miss this thread. My advice would be to go back in time and knock out 3-4-5 kids in your energetic 20's before you even start training so you're oblivious to the hurdles they present by the time any new babies arrive, lol.

Yes, I agree with allentown that #7 is huge. Postpartum exhaustion is so real. My totally unprofessional yet strong gut opinion is that a not insignificant amount of postpartum depression/psychosis (like where you end up in real trouble) is due to sleep deprivation and isolation.

Try to enlist help from moms and aunts too, at least in the first 1-2 months. Sometimes people don't know to help unless they're asked. Even just to hang out and have coffee, or hold the baby while she does something else like...be able to make coffee. Or people will bring lasagnes and stuff (which is great) but drop them and run because they're afraid to disturb you guys. You might have to take charge and invite them in.

On the other hand if you have an overbearing family you might have to speak up and kick people out. YMMV.

I would train to maintain in the first couple months, even if it's 1-2 / week. We had good sleepers (thank you Jesus, Mary, and Joseph) so it wasn't a huge issue after that.

Try to think positive, if you're solidly in the intermediate stage it might even be a conducive layoff and you'll probably rebound well.

[ithryn]

I didn't know you had twins, Cheb, that's cool. I always thought we might since my dad is an identical, but no dice.

[Chebass88]

I didn't know you had twins, Cheb, that's cool. I always thought we might since my dad is an identical, but no dice.

No worries of twins for you, ithryn! Identical twins occur randomly, and fraternal twins follow the female lineage, as it is due to double ovulation.

We found out 20 weeks in. What a surprise THAT was!

[LexAnderson]

Spent all night taking care of little man solo. Fever of 100.3 all night with Tylenol. Appointment with peds at 3:20 today.

[MattimusMaximus]

Funny enough the strongest I've ever been was after my second was born a little over a year ago. I reduced my training frequency to one session every 4th day and made some pretty awesome gains despite the sleep deprivation and lack of quality nutrition. Once every 4th day was awesome and I'm beginning to miss it now that my wife is off Mat Leave.

More than once now I've had to bring my daughter into the home gym, get a heavy sesh in, and do laundry all at the same time while trying to keep an eye on the baby monitor to make sure I don't have to rush upstairs to rock my son back to sleep.

This is a great thread and I hope it never gets "lost" because it's invaluable. I'm glad to see I wasn't the only one who had to compromise and reduce training quite a bit!